Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Green mimosas i think yes
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize