I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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