I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
