I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
