It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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