look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
