He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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