She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize