kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
