Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
