what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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