You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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