dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
