oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize