Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
