I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize