Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
