Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
