I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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