so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize