forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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