Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
