3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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