I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
