I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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