What a fucking waste of an outfit
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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