I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
