it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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