Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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