Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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