Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
