She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize