the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
