There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
