If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
