So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
