So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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