Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
whose parrot is this?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
