I bet he comes in French.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
