i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
