Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
The ass gains better be worth it
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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