I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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