Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
