I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The air taste purple.
Randomize
