I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
