Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize