i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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