I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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