why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i will never coherently bang her
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
