she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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