I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize