We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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