she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
