Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
