it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
