Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
