the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
But break dance skills will only take you so far
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
