Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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