mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
