An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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