It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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