Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
