my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize