No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
