no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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