i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
