i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
