she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
