alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
