So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
