I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Operation Purity has been aborted
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
