isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I AM VODKA MAN
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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