I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
