Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
