This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
