sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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