The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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