there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
