im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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