my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
