I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
